Coffee – then adulting.

Or wine. Wine then adulting.

recent posts

about

Just a mom to a know-it-all teen and an 8-year-old who rules the roost. A wife, a daughter, and a twin sister. Millennial who juggles a full-time job with mental sanity.

  • A Journey Back to Writing

    A Journey Back to Writing

    If you know me, you probably know that I’m generally a pretty private person. There are many reasons for starting this but here are a few.

    1. I have a new laptop. Now I must use it.
    2. I miss writing. Even if no one reads what I write.
    3. We all have a voice, and many of us don’t use it enough. Some of us use it too much. But I figured that we can all gain from hearing each other’s thoughts. This especially true when it comes to the trials and tribulations of having kids, and really just “adulting” in general.

    The truth is I started this blog entry above in April of 2019. It’s now 2025. In other words, that was before a new job, before the world shut down for a pandemic, and before we moved 3 times in 3 years. And before the crippling anxiety about the future of our children’s generation – and basically, everything. Now, the laptop I started this on is the last one I would use due to its turtle-level speed. But, the reasons I started this are the same.

    We live in a world where we outsource so much. This is especially true now, thanks to AI. But I want my thoughts to be mine. I want them to be authentic – even if no once cares to read them.

    It takes bravery to ink our thoughts on paper. Maybe all we need is a good cup of coffee, first. A sip of vino might also help. So here goes nothing…better late than never.

  • Things I Didn’t Know I’d Need as An Adult: A Village

    Things I Didn’t Know I’d Need as An Adult: A Village

    What a week. I was home by myself with both kids this week. My husband was helping his parents with a medical situation in Florida.

    But life doesn’t stop when your own schedule changes. There is still school, field trips, sports practices, grocery shopping, homework, and everything in between.

    Even before you take on extracurricular activities for your kids, you wonder just how much it will impact your normal routine. After a few times, you get the hang of the drop-off, pick-up, carpool routine. Then it starts to become the normal routine. Here’s a good time to Google the Marcello Hernandez “Pick You Up and Drop You Off” joke. It perfectly encapsulates the amusing yet exhausting reality of our daily schedules.

    But I’ve learned over the last several years that you find your village – a community of support – beyond your family; you find it in your kids’ friends’ parents, their teammates’ parents, your neighbors, etc. Whether it’s coordinating rides to practices, sharing in the excitement of a game, or just exchanging supportive messages, these connections have become crucial lifelines. I don’t know how I would get through the mental gymnastics of planning everything without them. Their willingness to step in, whether it’s for a last-minute carpool or an unexpected playdate, has truly been a blessing.

    I am so thankful to know people who are always happy to help out, no questions asked. Their kindness extends beyond mere favor; it builds a network of shared experiences that make the challenges of parenting a bit lighter.

    This week, I was a single parent. And all I have to say is props to all the single parents doing this on the daily. The strength and resilience that single parents show amazes me; they are the true superheroes.

    We need social connection more than ever. Maybe that comes in the form of a village that becomes your circle. It’s a reminder of how we are not alone, even in our busiest moments. We all share the common goal of raising our children to be happy, healthy, and kind. Even if our kids are anxious, quiet, or just different, they are accepted. And together, we can make this journey a little bit easier to navigate.

  • Coffee Thoughts: Contradictions are Everywhere

    It’s Women’s History Month. And it got me thinking about America Ferrera’s character in “Barbie,” who perfectly points out the wild contradictions and expectations that come with being a modern woman.

    As I prepare my grocery list or pack my kids’ lunches, it feels like no matter how hard I try, I can’t meet the expectations of a sugar-free, healthy meal with all five food groups (or whatever number we’re at now).

    Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re inundated with a flood of health info from every corner. One minute you’re feeling great, and the next, you’re questioning every meal like a detective. I catch myself asking:

    Is this cereal too processed?

    Am I turning my kids into sugar fiends?

    Wait, are there microplastics in this instant rice?

    Are my kids drinking enough water?

    I sliced some apples for lunch, but does my eco-friendly container contain microplastics? Can I pull a Captain Planet with my lunch prep or just fuel climate change?

    Okay, I might be overthinking this… or maybe I’m not. I mean, were we all doomed from the start? Can we do anything without feeling guilty about it later?

    Seriously, just go watch America’s speech. She sums it up better than I ever can:

  • Adulting is…never having enough wine for a snow WEEK.

    Adulting is…never having enough wine for a snow WEEK.

    I write this as I sit here with a glass of Zinfandel, knowing full well that I have to be up at 5 a.m. for my daughter’s first volleyball tournament of the season.

    We got a notice today stating that parking at the tournament isn’t guaranteed due to the snow. Also, the building is colder because it’s a metal building. It’s a cherry on top of a fantastic late January week: There was no school. We had two days of virtual school. The driveway is caked in ice. Temperatures have felt like 3 degrees. Actually they may literally be 3 degrees.

    I’m SO done with winter.

    The snow we got this week wasn’t even the kind you can build snowmen with, or go sledding. It’s just been a nuisance more than anything.

    On top of that, the news has been more depressing than ever. I’m really getting tired of watching people getting shot on my social media feeds.

    I remember an ice storm from childhood – but other than that, this frigid weather has been anything but normal.

    If I calculate the numbers for this week, I think I come up with…

    8 inches of snow

    2 inches of sold ice

    50 times some kid asked me for a snack or water

    3 bottles of wine consumed

    75 times I said “mother f-er” when walking outside

    Oh and on top of the arctic sampler, I have to sign up for our summer pool membership and camp.

    When is April??

    Photo by Karolina Grabowska http://www.kaboompics.com on Pexels.com

  • Adulting Is…A Giant List of Tabs Open in Your Head that Never Closes

    Adulting Is…A Giant List of Tabs Open in Your Head that Never Closes

    It’s only January, and I feel overwhelmed. We just made it through the holidays, and it already feels like winter is all about living for summer. There are vacations to figure out, summer camps to book, pool memberships to buy, and pounds to lose.

    Meanwhile, there are bills to pay.

    Dinners to make. What was that new recipe I was going to try?

    Breaking news to keep up with.

    New sneakers to buy for your kid.

    Finish watching The Pitt.

    Maybe watch an Oscar contender.

    Read the book I checked out two months ago.

    Use that gym membership.

    Take my vitamins.

    How does the brain not implode from all of these mental “to-dos”?

    When I asked Google how much storage capacity a human brain has, it shot back:

    “The human brain’s storage capacity is estimated to be vast, often cited around 2.5 petabytes (2.5 million gigabytes), equivalent to millions of hours of TV, based on the trillions of connections (synapses) between neurons, though some newer research suggests even higher potential, possibly around 1 petabyte, by considering more types of synaptic signals.”

    So in other words, the brain doesn’t implode because it has the capacity to store this information. But processing this information is a whole other complex task. I couldn’t agree more.

    Maybe this is why all I want to do is lay down. I just want to curl up in a blanket and watch a movie. My computing brain is over processing.

    Anyone else feel this way?

    Cheers to January and our tired, overstimulated, overworked brains!

    Photo by Vanessa Riecke on Pexels.com
  • Post-Holiday Reflections: My 2026 Goals
  • Post-Holiday Reflections: My 2026 Goals

    Post-Holiday Reflections: My 2026 Goals

    Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

    Adulting is…making resolutions that I might actually accomplish.

    It’s been a while since I’ve written. The holidays have consumed my brain. Somehow, now I feel like I finally have some breathing room to think outside of Christmas.

    In some ways, it felt like a Covid holiday. Everyone was sick (not us, save for my teenager’s cold), but so many people were battling the flu.

    Without major obligations and traveling, it felt like we took the liberty to lounge around more. I was introduced (a second time) to Stranger Things. I am not a super-fan; however, I can appreciate the show. Releasing the final season during the holidays was a great idea from a marketing perspective. I was happy to have some quality time with my husband and kids, bonding over a TV show. That experience is rare.

    As an adult, you feel rushed to fit it all in – the shopping, the baking, gifts for teachers, cards, etc. The holidays are a welcome break, when time slows down even if it’s only for a day or two.

    I’m in total agreement with my 8-year-old: I’m not ready for the holidays to be over, though the kids have been home from school for what seems like forever.

    Looking to 2026

    As I write this, I feel full of cheese and foods I don’t normally eat. Drinks I don’t normally drink. After the indulgent holiday season, it’s time to start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. In addition to working out more, some of mine are:

    Take more pictures. Purposefully. That way, when Christmas rolls around, I’m not scraping the bottom of the barrel for a decent family photo.

    Take more risks. I may even start a Podcast.

    Stop overthinking things. A constant battle.

    Spend more quality time with the kids.

    Travel more, even if it’s local.

    Be less angry.

    Put away laundry in a timely fashion (yeah right!)

    Make better pizza.

    And last, but not least, try more coffee.

    Cheers to 2026!

    What are your resolutions, if you’re making any?

    You can now follow me on my Instagram page, coffee_thenadulting!

  • The Dreaded Holiday List: Navigating Gift Giving

    The Dreaded Holiday List: Navigating Gift Giving

    Adulting is…asking for boring – I mean practical – holiday gifts.

    It’s that time of year again: LIST MAKING.

    From Christmas lists to New Year’s goals.

    I’d love to know, what’s everyone putting on their Christmas list (besides an f-ing break)?

    As a kid, I would never quite understand why my parents and older relatives asked for things they only “needed.” As the holidays approached, I wished for toys and games while they set their sights on items like plates or new winter coats. But here I am at 41, and a new mattress seems like an ideal Christmas gift. It’s funny how perspectives change; a good night’s sleep now tops my list of priorities.

    How do you figure out what to give, when to give less, and when to give experiences and not gifts? My kids have basically grown out of toys. The days of action figures and dolls have transitioned into interests that revolve around technology and sports. But my husband loves to shop for “toy-like” things. It’s a balancing act between gifting something useful and indulging in playful gifts that elicit a childlike wonder.

    BTW, when people post their gifts on social media, it creates some unnecessary FOMO. (So please, avoid that as much as possible.)

    As an adult, how do you even know what you want for yourself, without sounding selfish? It’s a complicated sentiment to navigate. Creating a Christmas list can feel indulgent. Perhaps it’s about asking for small things like a book, a sweater, or a bottle of wine.

    Also, traditions. How do you keep the ones from both families alive? There’s beauty in blending traditions but it often feels like a delicate negotiation, keeping alive the cherished customs passed down while ensuring new ones find their footing. How do you make new ones special to your family? It could be as simple as a movie night or a baking day of holiday cookies. Those moments become memories, etching our family’s traditions into the fabric of our holiday season.

    There are so many things that go into the holiday prep: shopping, decorating, planning meals, and ensuring everyone feels included and celebrated. It can be overwhelming, yet it’s also a time ripe with opportunity to foster connection and joy. The list making may seem trivial, but it’s essential for the kids to know we care about what they want. Plus, I like to save it when possible and look back on it to see how the years have changed. [insert tear drop]

    I’m sad that the years of Santa-filled holiday excitement are slowly fading. However, I am also excited for the years when gifts become less about “wants” and more about “needs.”

  • Feeling Fall-ish

    Feeling Fall-ish

    I miss the Fall. Like the real Fall.

    Jumping in the leaves. Just admiring the leaves.

    Pumpkin picking.

    Baking apple cake.

    Haunted hayrides.

    I haven’t watched one horror movie all month. I guess it’s not too late. But September and October are filled with the hustle of birthday parties, sports, back to school obligations, etc., leaving little breathing room for the nostalgic things we loved from childhood.

    The fall was supposed to be a beautiful bridge from a fun summer to a dreaded winter. It always goes by too fast.

    My son invited friends over to carve pumpkins during Halloween week. This made the holiday feel real, and I appreciated it. He loves Halloween, especially decorating. I enjoy his excitement…We cherish happy moments together, whether it’s decorating, carving pumpkins, or watching football on Sundays (after volleyball games of course).

    If that’s what fall means to us now, that’s what it will have to be, I suppose.

    What are your favorite fall memories?

  • Seeking Answers on Sunday

    Seeking Answers on Sunday

    I went to church this past Sunday for the first time in a few months. I hate to use summer as an excuse, but we get out of our normal routines, travel, etc., and unfortunately, that means forgoing Mass. I did chaperone my daughter’s church camp…does that count?

    Anyways, I have honestly been eager to get back to Mass. I’m not sure if I’m looking for answers, or just input, or validation. However, I do know I am searching for meaning in all that is going on in our country. You know, I am seeking out a higher power to make it all make sense. So many things seem backward, and people are so angry.

    When I’m sitting in church, I always wonder if other people are there for those same reasons. I know I can’t be the only one.

    I wonder what the priest is thinking. If he’s caught the latest news. If people are coming to him with questions and seeking answers, solace, comfort, etc. Does he write his homilies with this in mind? It sure seemed that way Sunday – but it could also be coincidental.

    I questioned Catholicism for a long time, if it was right and just. But no religion is perfect. Oftentimes people turn to religious or spiritual guidance in times of distress, and I guess I am doing that very thing.

    I was thinking back to President Trump’s inauguration in January and the interfaith service he attended afterward, which became controversial. The bishop presiding over that service had asked him to have mercy on the LGBTQ and immigrant populations. She was asking for mercy but was criticized for being too political. Would the bishop have been more tolerable if she disguised her plea with a Bible verse instead of asking outright?

    The church takes a stance on many issues that have become political. So why would it be surprising for her to speak up when she has a pulpit to do it? Isn’t that what we ask of our spiritual leaders? Was her request really that terrible when, as a country, we seem to be mixing religion with politics and blurring the lines all the time? It was just a couple of weeks ago when the world watched a televised memorial service for Charlie Kirk that mixed messages about religion, policy, partisanship, and retribution.

    I promised myself I would not get political in these blog posts, so I’m going to leave it at that.

    As a child, I viewed church as a chore that had to get done to put me in the Lord’s good graces, as much as I hate to admit that. But I’ve always wondered would there be a sudden tragedy or something in my life that would draw me closer to my religion – I guess it’s these confusing, tumultuous times.

    Is anyone else feeling the same?

  • Back to Germs

    Back to Germs

    What a week it’s been. I’ve been at the pharmacy more than my kids have been in school. Between retrieving prescriptions, buying Covid tests, and various other medicines for allergies and cold symptoms, you could say the local Walgreen’s knows me well.

    Unfortunately, my daughter contracted Covid right when she turned 13. Not the best way to ring in her teenage years, but we made the best of it. It will always be a unique memory that we’ll “cherish.”

    When she gets sick, she doesn’t bounce back quickly like I used to. I remember being sick maybe once or twice a year during school. I rarely stayed home unless it was something serious like the flu or a stomach bug. However, my daughter seems to get pummeled by sickness far more often.

    It’s almost predictable that September will usher in some kind of illness to our home after a relatively mild summer. With the kids returning to school, it’s like welcoming back a wave of germs. Preparing for cold season has become part of our annual routine, navigating allergies, colds, and viruses that often accompany the back-to-school rush.

    Flashbacks to 2020

    Speaking of sickness, my daughter said her birthday reminded her of the tumultuous 2020. You know, when we were donning masks and rarely seeing people. We sat on our deck to celebrate her birthday. Her grandparents traveled from Florida to see us. They received the news she had Covid when they were 5 hours away. They were able to talk to her from several feet away outside.

    This past week has made me think back to Covid for other reasons. We have been watching the TV show, “The Pitt,” and while it lacks the exaggerated drama of Grey’s Anatomy and some other medical shows, it’s been recognized for its take on real life in the medical field, especially post-Covid.

    But I’m also reminded of the pandemic because it was one of the rare and fleeting times we, as a country, all seemed like we were cheering for the same side. We celebrated the push for vaccine development; we lauded doctors, nurses, and all first-responders so much so that people would literally bang pots and pans out of their apartment windows for them, or deliver meals, or drive by and honk and cheer for them. I’m not saying we don’t appreciate them anymore, but there was (or at least it seemed so in our area) an atmosphere of unified love. Now, there’s division on so many health topics – medicine, vaccinations, and who’s to blame for Covid, etc.

    I bring this up because last week we also saw the assassination of Charlie Kirk, and it spotlighted how divided our nation has become (not that we didn’t know that already). But right after that was also the anniversary of 9/11 – another reminder of how times of tragedy and crisis can also bring us together.

    I pray we don’t have another tragedy but can use past lessons to see how we are stronger and better when we shine a light on the humanity that exists, rather than the hate.